I’m Going to Talk About Monkeys, and Nobody Can Stop Me

Dungeons and Dragons has shifted dramatically in terms of tone over the years. The very first editions of the game were effectively direct lifts of popular fantasy fiction, from Tolkein and Moorcock to Lovecraft and Howard. As the series went on, its tone shifted through space-faring science-fantasy, gothic horror, surrealist planepunk, before settling on its current cosy, fairy-tale, Winds in the Willows by way of Lord of the Rings vibe. 

But occasionally, amongst all those genres and tonal shifts, you get something properly weird. Today, we will delve a little into that weirdness. 

I want to make it clear that I’m not going to talk about the weirdest stuff I’ve found in D&D. We’re not going to talk about the two-trunked elephant warriors of the Shaar, nor will we discuss the dim-witted electric sasquatches that first appeared in 2e. We will not be touching upon sentient bridges, man-eating koalas, or the bat-sized, paranoia-inducing moths of the Underdark. Maybe we’ll revisit these topics at a later date. 

But right now, we’re talking about monkey mentalists. 

Dakons first appeared in 1981’s 1st-edition Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Fiend Folio, where they are described as “shabby, intelligent” apes with light brown fur, green eyes, and a grasp of human languages. In their first appearance, they’re not especially interesting - the accompanying illustration depicts a large, gorilla-like ape holding a small treasure chest, and its description briefly alludes to its pacifism and interest in treasure. It is not until the 1994 release of Dragon Magazine #187 that things get interesting. 

In that issue, writer Nick Parenti expounds upon these unremarkable apes in an article titled the Ecology of the Dakon. This article delves into the species’ culture, history, religion, governmental makeup, and economy. The Dakon live in hunter-gatherer societies ruled by a king and a shaman, and they are avid collectors of gold and jewellery. In battle, they wield clubs and javelins, and occasionally ride war elephants. They have a written language exclusively learned by members of their magician caste, and their “spoken” language consists primarily of sign language. 

But all of this can be ignored, because the article goes into great detail about something even more impressive. 

You see, the Dakons are more than just apes: They have mastered the subtle art of monkey mind control. 

“A dakon need only approach a primate with an intelligence of at least 1 and at most 7, then spend one hour speaking to and physically touching the prospective follower. [The conditioned primate] follows the dakon and becomes its petlike associate, able to learn whatever tricks it can be taught.” 

Now I must clarify that these powers are not psionic in origin. They also do not appear to be magical in nature, despite functioning similarly to AD&D 2e’s Animal Friendship spell. This leaves us with the possibility that Dakons are innately incredible at talking to and subtly indoctrinating other primates into their service. 

Dakons are monkey mentalists. 

The article goes into extensive detail about how the Dakons commune with and tame other primates. They spend a great deal of time with chimpanzees, and are tolerant of other intelligent furred primate species like Spelljammer’s Hadozee. Another part of the article discusses how “carnivorous apes are also maintained in much the same way that other races keep war dogs,” and that they form tentative alliances with Banderlogs, a kind of murderous sentient baboon also originating in 1e AD&D.

Many things have been lost as we have moved through D&D’s various tonal upheavals, but out of everything, the Dakon are the thing whose absence most surprises me. We are now in what Todd Stashwick calls the “Frogs in Vests” era of Dungeons and Dragons, in which funny animal creatures make up a significant chunk of the PC species pool and inform an increasing percentage of the lore. It is madness to me that, amidst this, a culture of elephant-riding baboon-taming primate warrior-merchants haven’t been reintroduced as part of an expansion. 

Perhaps WOTC is mindful of the brief but intense backlash against Spelljammer’s reintroduction of the Hadozee, which were characterised as a race of enslaved “deck apes” that, for many players, felt a little too close to stereotypes and propaganda surrounding the African slave trade.¹ Perhaps WOTC doesn’t want to touch this particular controversy with a ten foot pole. I certainly don’t disagree with that instinct: There is a lot about the Dakon that feels a little… Iffy. The Dakon are led by a “Ghana”, a real word used by the Soninke people who founded the empire that would one day become modern Ghana. The Dakon primarily use knobkerries in combat, a hooked club traditionally used by the Nguni peoples of Southern Africa. The Dakon are, for all intents and purposes, a collection of African tropes wrapped up in an uncomfortably primate package. 

So, what are we to do with the Dakons? It would be easy to suggest that we simply ignore this incredibly minor piece of mid-80s D&D lore, allowing it to fade into obscurity like the lingering remnants of Gary Gygax’s earth-shattering sexism.² Instead, I think we can treat it as a learning opportunity. I love the Dakons for what they are - an empire of semi-psychic monkeys with a surprisingly detailed culture and history - more than for what they represent. But as we move forward as a culture and as a hobby, we must always be willing to look back at the things that came before with nuance and curiosity. We must be willing to assess the positive (baboon guard-dogs, sophisticated non-verbal language, monkey mind powers) and the negative (a boatload of potentially harmful African stereotypes) and come away having grown and developed as creatives and hobbyists.

I believe that the ever-moving goalposts of D&D’s tone - and its insistence on never truly examining its past - is at least partly responsible for the Hadozee controversy in the first place: As WOTC moves away from its past and into its future, it seems less interested in actually assessing its previous creative properties, resulting in instances where they will blindly release something that, to modern eyes, is pretty racist. 

I want there to be psychic monkeys in D&D again. I just don’t want anyone to be weird about it. 

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¹ Many people felt that these links were overblown, perhaps a result of the “woke media” finally getting too big of a foothold in the hobby. To those people I would like to point them towards this article which uses WOTC artwork edited to give the Hadozee oversized lips.

²  “Damn right I am a sexist. It doesn’t matter to me if women get paid as much as men… They can jolly well stay away from wargaming in droves for all I care.” -Gary Gygax, EUROPA 10/11 August-September 1975